Deep Thoughts

I have never appreciated a glass of wine more, than I do now, as a working mom with two kids.

I really enjoy the quiet in the house when the TV isn’t on.  I was/am someone that LOVES having the TV on, just for background noise, but lately, it’s been off more, and the quiet is addicting.

I am SO TIRED of walking through baby gates and making sure they are closed behind me.

Why didn’t we choose the dishwasher with the hidden buttons?  Word to the wise…upgrade to those when you have kids or the rinse cycle will be turned on ALL THE TIME.

My dog will eat anything off the floor except for bananas.  And those are the hardest to peel off if you don’t get to them in time.

One day I will have a grown up house again.  You know, one that has breakables out and no baby toys and burp cloths everywhere.

When people ask if it’s hard with two kids…I haven’t quite figured out my answer yet.  I thought in the beginning it was pretty easy, but lately, the guilt I have for not being home with them all day, or having to give more attention to one rather than the other is the hardest thing.  So yeah, I guess it is hard with two kids.  But then again, I have nothing to compare it too.

The one night that I slept all night was the BEST.  Scotty had gotten up with Jake and I got to sleep all night long.  Sleep.  What a fantastic thing it is.  I don’t mind getting up with Jake right now, except for the mere fact that I can’t seem to get back to sleep very quickly.  Last night took 1 1/2 hours.  Maybe I should drink while he is drinking.

When do I find time to workout?  I am not a morning person at all, so that’s out.  When I get home from work, I throw myself to my kids until they are in bed, then make dinner, then maybe have some time with my husband (shocking) then it’s bed time.  Seriously, how do mom’s do it all?  I can’t seem to find the time and my ass jiggles aren’t going away by just thinking about it.

When was my life made up of puke?  Dog puke, cat puke, baby puke.  Seriously, I am surprised I get to work with clean clothes.

My dog farts worse than the kids.

I have learned to watch my TIVO’d shows, while listening to Elmo singing a song about taking pictures.  Mostly, because there isn’t any other time to watch them so I have to give up silence.

When will my brain be normal again?  I left the house today and left the garage door opened all day.  Seriously?  Then last night I left it open again after I said, Oh I have to go close it.  And then when I was getting dressed I couldn’t remember if I had put on deodorant 5 minutes earlier, so I put it on again. 

I woke up this morning with 5 mosquito bites.  Seriously?  It’s not like I was camping.  I was in bed with fresh sheets.  I guess there is something to not always washing your sheets then.

Is it bad that I chase my latte in the morning with a diet coke?  You know what?  Don’t tell me.  I don’t want to hear it.