The Last Day of Summer

A letter to his sons on the last day of summer…

Jared and Jake,
I would like to preface this letter by saying that I feel very blessed to be able to spend 2 ½ months a year as a full time daddy. This is very unique in today’s world.
I love you two more than anything else in the world. With that being said, I have some observations that I feel might be important for you in the near and far future.
1. I recently put in an order to have the name Dreamcrusher put on a shirt. I am also thinking of officially changing my name. Why? Well the way you two cry every time I tell you to get down from the table, stop throwing rocks at each other, refrain from riding the dog like a horsey, stop throwing food across the table, ask you to go to the potty (This one is for you Jared) or warn you that standing on one of the armrests of my chair might lead to falling (All you Jake) you cry like I am crushing your very essence.
2. I am totally not sure what gets more food. The garbage disposal, the floor (and by proxy the dog) or the two of you. For years, I heard that it was just better to feed children in the bathtub and I never really understood why, until now. Jake- you are given a plate for a reason. It really is not necessary to remove every item from your plate and neatly put it on the table. I promise, the plate is not laced with poison, nor is it “hot hot hot” which requires you to blow on it. Jared- There really is more to eat in life than Macaroni and Cheese and Corn. Mommy is happy you don’t eat cookies, chocolate or ice cream but really, you don’t want to be “THAT KID” when you get older.
3. Mommy is your favorite. I know this, you know this, and I am pretty sure that every neighbor around us knows this as well. However, screaming “Mommy Help me”, “Mommy where are you?” or “I don’t want you Daddy, I want Mommy” at the top of your lungs does not feel that great. It might just be a phase but someday you will appreciate having a Dad like me. (Oh and if you don’t, you better lie and tell me that you do)
4. Boundaries are put in place for a reason. Jake- when you attempt to scale the stove (while the burners are lit) I am going to tell you no. Jared- when you attempt to behead your brother with a chair, car, mallet, hammer, stick, etc…. I am going to tell you no. I know you don’t believe it but I take keeping you alive and mostly safe very personally. With that in mind, I have composed a few life lessons which you are struggling with this summer.
a. Gravity Always Wins- Jake it really stresses Mommy out when you go head first off of anything and everything. I know we talk about how chicks dig scars and all but your mommy is going to have a heart attack the next time you scar your forehead/cheek/facial area.
b. Hitting anything is usually not a good idea. This includes, but is not limited to the following: yourself, your brother, your Mom and I, the wall, the floor, the stove (again Jake…. Really the stove is not for you), your bed/crib, and pretty much any other solid object.
c. Ordering Mommy and Daddy around is not helping your cause. It is my job to limit your exposure to things like television, movies, fire, water, food, and pretty much everything else in your life. With that said, screaming “I want OSO” or “More Chuggington” at the top of your lungs is most likely not going to get you what you want.
5. Running away is not an option. (Well, not yet anyway) Auntie Sandi loves you tons and tons Grandma and Papa will always be fun. Now that we have this established, as Grandparents and Auntie, they are rarely required to say the word “No” to you. They leave that up to your Mother and I. I know that it seems like it would be paradise to live with them full time. However, I need to let you in on a little secret. Most of the rules, life lessons, parenting techniques that your Mother and I use, where do you think they came from?
6. Time spent in the backyard is not a punishment. I see that terrified look on your face when I close the door and gleefully lock it. Your tears, on some occasions, can melt me to the core. However, these tears have no impact on me. Consider it time to expand your imagination, run in the grass, build a tower, play around with the hose and even (gasp) drink from the hose when you get thirsty. I promise, one of the many promises I make to you that no irreparable damage has been done with this practice. It has also existed for generations.

Love, Daddy.  AKA, DreamCrusher